So it's been quite awhile since I wrote, hasn't it? Well, such is life middler year, I've been busier than I have been in awhile.
The first piece of news since my last post is that I am recommended to be endorsed for candidacy! My endorsement interview went really well, and just as soon as the candidacy committee makes it official in December I will be done with the next step toward being a pastor. It was really wonderful to have Cheryl, my candidacy contact up here for the day of my endorsement, and I was able to how her around my neighborhood a bit around the interview. Which means we went for Jeni's ice cream.
The day after my endorsement interview I gave George to petsmart for the week and left for Oklahoma. It was wonderful to truly take that time off, and on one of the days that Silas was at work and I was just hanging around, I took a three hour nap. We spent a day at the zoo and went kayaking, and we celebrated our third year anniversary. It was really fantastic to be together on our anniversary - we weren't last year - and to spend some quality time together. Times like that make the long-distance go easier. Eventually, I had to head back to Ohio, though.
I got back late on a Monday night, and somehow that meant my entire week basically slammed me in the face. I made it through though, and then it was time for Reformation week! I love Reformation week and All Saints, and we pulled out the stops here at Trinity. We had red hanging all over the place, and I got to sing the Lutheran fight song a couple of times. Then this All Saints week has been really powerful for me in worship, because I have a lot of people I am remembering this year. Today in worship, we had a chance to light a candle around a cross, and I was able to sit and pray and remember those I love who are with God now. When I'm busy planning and executing worship, it is nice to find those times to truly be present in the worship itself.
Aside from worship, I have been busy in my classes. We've covered Chrsitology in Systematics and moved well into the Holy Spirit and the Church. I can hardly believe how fast it's going. In my Lutheran Confessions class, I just wrote a Reformation day sermon, a week after Reformation day. Hopefully I can use it, or part of it in the future. And in my preaching class, I have given two sermons and have three still to write. They're going well, and as difficult as it can be to listen to myself and annotate my own sermons, it's teaching me a lot about how I preach and how I talk. For instance, I discovered I use my hands a lot when I talk! In a couple of weeks I will be preaching the second sermon I wrote for class at All Saints, which both exciting and terrifying.
Life continues to be pretty much school and work at All Saints, and I do love it, but I wouldn't want to do this forever. It kind of feels like, between school, being sacristan, and working at All Saints, that I am working a job and a half. I've been really tired a lot of this semester, which is not terribly different from the past two years, but it's getting more noticeable and more problematic. I am finally going to go see a psychiatrist to see if adjusting my antidepressants will help with my energy. I'm sure my professors would enjoy me not struggling to stay awake in most of my classes. One thing I am continuing to learn is how to care for myself, as my endorsement interview reminded me. I'll keep practicing, though.
Right now, I have the seminary cold that has been going around for a couple of weeks, but thankfully I have no classes or meetings tomorrow, so I will be able to spend the whole day in bed getting better. I'm sure George will be glad too, as several of my days this week have been extra long, meaning he has not had his required pets. I can't believe how close Thanksgiving and Christmas are getting, but I am looking forward to being able to spend the holidays back home, and to see my family and Silas again.
I'll try to write more frequently, but I can't promise anything - this has been on my to-do list all week! I hope everyone reading this is well.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
Midterms!
So as of today, I am offially halfway through this semester. The time has really flown, but it always seems to when I'm in school.
This last week was crazy, as I had a paper of some sort due in each of my classes. It ended up being the kind of week where I finished everything on the day it was due, which is not my favorite style of working. This week I wrote about God's wrath in Amos, mission in a pluralistic society, the Augsburg Confession, feminist understandings of sin, and I wrote and preached my first sermon for preaching class. All of the assignments went well, although my favorites were definitely the paper about sin and the sermon about a text I really didn't want to preach on.
It turns out sin is really interesting when you think about it, and a lot of people have given it some thought. My understanding it better makes my confessions every week so much more meaningful, and I am actually able to find grace a lot easier. My sermon was on Acts 15:12-21, which, paraphrased, says Paul and Barnabas told the Jewish Church that God was acting among the Gentiles. The Jewish Church was confused. The Jewish Church decided the Gentiles could be part of the Church without circumcision. I had a hard time finding the grace of God in that text, but it finally came out. I may be able to get the video of the sermon soon, if anyone would like to see it. I thought it went pretty well, if I do say so myself.
Now that midterms are over, it is time for my fall break. The best part of this is a five day vacation in Oklahoma City, spending some time with Silas. Our anniversary is next weekend, and I'm excited about being with him for it. I'm also excited about not having any schoolwork to do over the five days.
But first, I have to get through tomorrow. Tomorrow afternoon is my Endorsement Interview, which is the next step in the candidacy process. Most of my classmates went through that today, but my turn is tomorrow, when all of my panel can be there. I am quite excited that Cheryl, my candidacy contact, will be flying up to be at the interview in person, and I am looking forward to getting caught up with her. I am not too worried about the interview, and I'm hoping that peace remains. I think the interview will be a good experience, and I'm reasonably certain that I will be approved for endorsement. We'll see tomorrow!
Tonight I went to the church council meeting at All Saints as part of my MIC this year. It's really great to go to these, as I begin to see how a church runs itself, even if that does mean listening to a half-hour conversation about heating systems. I'm still really enjoying my time here and everything I'm learning through school and through All Saints. I can hardly wait to see what the second half of the semester brings. But first, I'm going on vacation.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Many Worships
This semester is certainly keeping me busy! A lot has happened since I last wrote, which is why this blog is so late.
Two weekends ago I drove down to Nashville to meet my parents and trade cars with them. I was glad to have my car back after a month, and the drive was actually fairly pleasant. I listened to a book on tape while I was driving, and I enjoyed seeing the trees which were turning for fall. My parents had a longer drive, and I know doing it two days in a row was rough, so I am very grateful to them for meeting with me there.
My classes this semester are still going fantastically, and it's funny that they are not my biggest concern most of the time. Part of that is probably because I really enjoy them, so I'm comfortable with the time I do spend on them, and the other part is that I simply have so many other things going on. In preaching class, I'll be giving my first sermon in just over a week, and I'm looking forward to it, despite the fact that I'm struggling with the text. Here's praying that the Holy Spirit will make an intervention in time. (from my discussions with other preachers, this is a frequent prayer)
Aside from my schoolwork, my biggest commitment continues to be my job as sacristan. I love nearly every minute of it, and I think I'm learning a lot in the job. Last week was Trinity Days, which meant a lot of work for a beautiful worship service. I may have sent nearly 100 emails on Monday alone. I finished my twelve yard long banners in time, and they added beautifully to Gloria Dei. We had a lovely eucharist service on Wednesday put on by Bexley Hall, which made me think back to my times at Saint Andrews in college. I was a crucifer and lector for that service, and I was honored to be asked to help lead. Thursday we had a service that included a fire bowl - my first experience with that - and it turned out wonderfully. It always makes me happy as a sacristan when I plan and plan and then the opening song begins and everyone walks out in the procession, and then I cannot do anything more. When it all goes well, as it always does, I am proud to have been a part of that work.
After the busy-ness of the Trinity days worship, I was able to just enjoy the rest of it. We had a lecture about Pentecostalism for our main lecture, and it was really interesting to consider a tradition so different from ours and see what there may be to learn from that. I also went to the student/alumni football game and got some knitting done. Thursday evening, I was invited by my friend Mechelle to participate in the rituals of Rosh Hashana which was a thoroughly enjoyable experience. Altogether, I got to experience a lot of faith over the weekend!
On Sunday, I was finally able to sit down with Bonnie, my MIC supervisor, over lunch and plan out my year at All Saints. I will preach several times, teach sixth grade confirmation, attend church council meetings, continue to assist at worship, and begin a pastoral care relationship with one of the congregants there. I am looking forward to all of this, although I am also a little nervous. I hope that I will continue to be able to grow in my abilities as a pastor during this year here.
This week, I'm feeling pretty well on my feet, and I'm looking forward to next week as an ease in my time as sacristan, since it will be Bexley Hall's worship week the whole week. And then the week after that is fall break, which is hard to imagine! That will be an especially good week, as I will be having my endorsement interview on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday I will be heading to Oklahoma to spend some time with Silas, including celebrating our third-year anniversary! I cannot wait for that.
It's a busy semester, but it is full of good things, and I am looking forward to the rest of it! I'll write here again soon.
Two weekends ago I drove down to Nashville to meet my parents and trade cars with them. I was glad to have my car back after a month, and the drive was actually fairly pleasant. I listened to a book on tape while I was driving, and I enjoyed seeing the trees which were turning for fall. My parents had a longer drive, and I know doing it two days in a row was rough, so I am very grateful to them for meeting with me there.
My classes this semester are still going fantastically, and it's funny that they are not my biggest concern most of the time. Part of that is probably because I really enjoy them, so I'm comfortable with the time I do spend on them, and the other part is that I simply have so many other things going on. In preaching class, I'll be giving my first sermon in just over a week, and I'm looking forward to it, despite the fact that I'm struggling with the text. Here's praying that the Holy Spirit will make an intervention in time. (from my discussions with other preachers, this is a frequent prayer)
Aside from my schoolwork, my biggest commitment continues to be my job as sacristan. I love nearly every minute of it, and I think I'm learning a lot in the job. Last week was Trinity Days, which meant a lot of work for a beautiful worship service. I may have sent nearly 100 emails on Monday alone. I finished my twelve yard long banners in time, and they added beautifully to Gloria Dei. We had a lovely eucharist service on Wednesday put on by Bexley Hall, which made me think back to my times at Saint Andrews in college. I was a crucifer and lector for that service, and I was honored to be asked to help lead. Thursday we had a service that included a fire bowl - my first experience with that - and it turned out wonderfully. It always makes me happy as a sacristan when I plan and plan and then the opening song begins and everyone walks out in the procession, and then I cannot do anything more. When it all goes well, as it always does, I am proud to have been a part of that work.
After the busy-ness of the Trinity days worship, I was able to just enjoy the rest of it. We had a lecture about Pentecostalism for our main lecture, and it was really interesting to consider a tradition so different from ours and see what there may be to learn from that. I also went to the student/alumni football game and got some knitting done. Thursday evening, I was invited by my friend Mechelle to participate in the rituals of Rosh Hashana which was a thoroughly enjoyable experience. Altogether, I got to experience a lot of faith over the weekend!
On Sunday, I was finally able to sit down with Bonnie, my MIC supervisor, over lunch and plan out my year at All Saints. I will preach several times, teach sixth grade confirmation, attend church council meetings, continue to assist at worship, and begin a pastoral care relationship with one of the congregants there. I am looking forward to all of this, although I am also a little nervous. I hope that I will continue to be able to grow in my abilities as a pastor during this year here.
This week, I'm feeling pretty well on my feet, and I'm looking forward to next week as an ease in my time as sacristan, since it will be Bexley Hall's worship week the whole week. And then the week after that is fall break, which is hard to imagine! That will be an especially good week, as I will be having my endorsement interview on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday I will be heading to Oklahoma to spend some time with Silas, including celebrating our third-year anniversary! I cannot wait for that.
It's a busy semester, but it is full of good things, and I am looking forward to the rest of it! I'll write here again soon.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Fourth Week Already
So here I am halfway through my fourth week of this semester of seminary, and I am surprised that I am already here. It's going exceptionally well, but I think this year is going to go by fast.
I love all of my classes this semester, preaching and systematic theology probably the most. Preaching is great because it's a class that involves practice rather than just theory, which is one of the things I love in ministry. Systematic theology is fantastic, because it is exciting to finally be learning the ins and outs of faith and beginning to be able to develop and argue theological points so that I know my faith better than before. I'm already planning on taking at least one and maybe two more systematic classes in upcoming semesters, and I can hardly wait for any of them.
I am also thoroughly enjoying my job as sacristan. Sometimes it means responding to emails about the next days service at 11:00 at night, but it is a very rewarding job, since I love being part of worship in this way. Right now I am working on sewing several red banners for the sanctuary during our big Trinity Days service next week, and I am so happy that two things I love, sewing and worship, get to come together. And George and I are learning to get along okay when I'm sewing so he won't try to attack the projects.
Silas was in town a little over a week ago, and it was wonderful to have him back up here (he hadn't been since February!). We made gumbo for friends, watched old episodes of Doctor Who, and went down to Cincinnati to visit Hofbrauhaus and watch the Cardinals beat the Reds. I love those weekends, even if they do get me a little off my homework schedule, and I am basically caught up now.
My next really big event is my endorsement panel, which is coming right up. I'm scheduling it now, and I am hoping that my nerves won't hike up too much leading up to it. I had a great conversation with my candidacy coordinator this past summer, so I am trying to look at it with excitement, rather than trepidation.
Now that I am almost a month into the semester, I am beginning to feel settled. Worship is almost going at a regular pace, which I think may be all I can expect with that, I'm figuring out how much work my classes will take, and I might even eventually find time for crafting and whatnot. For now, I'm about to head off to my Lutheran Confessions class, but I imagine my blogs will become more regular now that I am more settled. Goodbye for now!
I love all of my classes this semester, preaching and systematic theology probably the most. Preaching is great because it's a class that involves practice rather than just theory, which is one of the things I love in ministry. Systematic theology is fantastic, because it is exciting to finally be learning the ins and outs of faith and beginning to be able to develop and argue theological points so that I know my faith better than before. I'm already planning on taking at least one and maybe two more systematic classes in upcoming semesters, and I can hardly wait for any of them.
I am also thoroughly enjoying my job as sacristan. Sometimes it means responding to emails about the next days service at 11:00 at night, but it is a very rewarding job, since I love being part of worship in this way. Right now I am working on sewing several red banners for the sanctuary during our big Trinity Days service next week, and I am so happy that two things I love, sewing and worship, get to come together. And George and I are learning to get along okay when I'm sewing so he won't try to attack the projects.
Silas was in town a little over a week ago, and it was wonderful to have him back up here (he hadn't been since February!). We made gumbo for friends, watched old episodes of Doctor Who, and went down to Cincinnati to visit Hofbrauhaus and watch the Cardinals beat the Reds. I love those weekends, even if they do get me a little off my homework schedule, and I am basically caught up now.
My next really big event is my endorsement panel, which is coming right up. I'm scheduling it now, and I am hoping that my nerves won't hike up too much leading up to it. I had a great conversation with my candidacy coordinator this past summer, so I am trying to look at it with excitement, rather than trepidation.
Now that I am almost a month into the semester, I am beginning to feel settled. Worship is almost going at a regular pace, which I think may be all I can expect with that, I'm figuring out how much work my classes will take, and I might even eventually find time for crafting and whatnot. For now, I'm about to head off to my Lutheran Confessions class, but I imagine my blogs will become more regular now that I am more settled. Goodbye for now!
Sunday, August 31, 2014
The Beginning of a New Semester
It is Labor Day weekend, and I am already a solid week into this new semester at Seminary. Getting here was an adventure, and I had to hit the ground running, but I'm beginning to finally feel settled.
I finished out CPE stongly, I believe, growing to love the job more and more every day. There were crazy days and easy days, and on my last day of actual work, I was given both the regular on-call pager and the trauma pager for a couple of hours during the Resident's graduation celebration, and of course that would be when two traumas, one death, and one family conflict would come in all at once. I loved it. I feel like I was really able to grow into my pastoral identity over the course of the summer, and I am so glad for how I spent it. I was excited by how much I felt that I could be a minister, and by how much I learned over the summer.
Outside of CPE, I had a minor hiccup just at the end of the summer. I was driving home from my last visit with Silas one Sunday evening, when my car started to make a funny clicking noise. I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom drove me to work in the morning so she could take my car into our mechanic and get it checked out. We assumed it wouldn't be a big deal, until the car died before it made the two mile trip to the mechanic. Something or other happened, which led to what was deemed by the people working on it "catastrophic engine failure." The good news was that my car was still under warranty and now she has a shiny new engine. The bad news is she wasn't going to be ready in time to get my mom and I back to Ohio so she could catch her flight out of town. So, we got the idea to take my dad's car and then trade halfway between after awhile. My mom and I made our long drive back to Ohio, and we'll be meeting somewhere in Tennessee later on in order to trade cars back. We're also hoping this is the end of my bad luck with cars.
When I got back to Ohio, I hit the ground running. I began my job as Sacristan by showing up and being asked to be a crucifer for the first service of the term. Then there were long meetings with Karen and Kristen, the worship life coordinator and my fellow sacristan to begin to figure out how we would work things over the upcoming year. I'm enjoying the job immensely already, and I've already begun to write a worship service for the upcoming week.
I've also already gotten started on classes, even before I was able to get all my school supplies organized for them. This semester I'm taking Systematic Theology, Old Testament 2, Preaching, Lutheran Confessions, and Christian Perspectives on Other Religions. I'm pretty excited about all of them already, especially Systematic Theology, which surprised me a little bit. I think that I am really beginning to get into the interesting stuff of seminary this year, and I think it will be a good year.
I'm glad to be back here, as much as I enjoyed being in Texas over the summer. I'm beginning to get to know the new people at the seminary, and reconnecting with my friends. I'm already feeling back into the swing of things and George is even well settled. He had an adventure his first day back by getting out when my mom and I were going to be gone awhile, but he got to stay in one of my friends apartments until we got back. Today George helped me to put together a bookcase, which I can't wait to fill up with my overflowing books. I'm still working on getting my apartment reorganized, and keeping up with my dishes (I already miss having a dishwasher again) but I've got one more holiday day of the weekend to get to it.
I'll be blogging more regularly now that I'm back on a normal schedule, so keep an eye here for updates on my Middler year at Trinity!
I finished out CPE stongly, I believe, growing to love the job more and more every day. There were crazy days and easy days, and on my last day of actual work, I was given both the regular on-call pager and the trauma pager for a couple of hours during the Resident's graduation celebration, and of course that would be when two traumas, one death, and one family conflict would come in all at once. I loved it. I feel like I was really able to grow into my pastoral identity over the course of the summer, and I am so glad for how I spent it. I was excited by how much I felt that I could be a minister, and by how much I learned over the summer.
Outside of CPE, I had a minor hiccup just at the end of the summer. I was driving home from my last visit with Silas one Sunday evening, when my car started to make a funny clicking noise. I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom drove me to work in the morning so she could take my car into our mechanic and get it checked out. We assumed it wouldn't be a big deal, until the car died before it made the two mile trip to the mechanic. Something or other happened, which led to what was deemed by the people working on it "catastrophic engine failure." The good news was that my car was still under warranty and now she has a shiny new engine. The bad news is she wasn't going to be ready in time to get my mom and I back to Ohio so she could catch her flight out of town. So, we got the idea to take my dad's car and then trade halfway between after awhile. My mom and I made our long drive back to Ohio, and we'll be meeting somewhere in Tennessee later on in order to trade cars back. We're also hoping this is the end of my bad luck with cars.
When I got back to Ohio, I hit the ground running. I began my job as Sacristan by showing up and being asked to be a crucifer for the first service of the term. Then there were long meetings with Karen and Kristen, the worship life coordinator and my fellow sacristan to begin to figure out how we would work things over the upcoming year. I'm enjoying the job immensely already, and I've already begun to write a worship service for the upcoming week.
I've also already gotten started on classes, even before I was able to get all my school supplies organized for them. This semester I'm taking Systematic Theology, Old Testament 2, Preaching, Lutheran Confessions, and Christian Perspectives on Other Religions. I'm pretty excited about all of them already, especially Systematic Theology, which surprised me a little bit. I think that I am really beginning to get into the interesting stuff of seminary this year, and I think it will be a good year.
I'm glad to be back here, as much as I enjoyed being in Texas over the summer. I'm beginning to get to know the new people at the seminary, and reconnecting with my friends. I'm already feeling back into the swing of things and George is even well settled. He had an adventure his first day back by getting out when my mom and I were going to be gone awhile, but he got to stay in one of my friends apartments until we got back. Today George helped me to put together a bookcase, which I can't wait to fill up with my overflowing books. I'm still working on getting my apartment reorganized, and keeping up with my dishes (I already miss having a dishwasher again) but I've got one more holiday day of the weekend to get to it.
I'll be blogging more regularly now that I'm back on a normal schedule, so keep an eye here for updates on my Middler year at Trinity!
Friday, July 25, 2014
CPE and Poetry
Today has been my first day this whole summer that I have had entirely to myself. I have been filling my days with work, with time with my family and friends, and with visits with Silas. All good, but it is certainly nice to have a day like this.
This morning I slept in, I cuddled with my cat, I sewed, I read, and I watched tv. It was wonderful. I thought it would also be a good time to write a new blog post.
CPE has been going fast and furious, and now I only have three weeks left. CPE has been a very interesting experience. It has been more challenging than I expected in some ways and it has been easier than I expected in some ways. I have found that I truly love doing ministry. I love being called to visit with people in need and being able to share the grace of God with them in some small way. I have had meaningful visits conducted entirely in Spanish and despite the language barrier between myself and my patients, God has been fully present. I have hugged perfect strangers, prayed without words for ten minute spans, and worn so much personal protective equipment that I'm getting used to being wrapped in plastic and latex.
I am assigned to three units, one of which is an isolation unit. That means that for many of my visits I have to put on a yellow plastic gown with full sleeves and light blue gloves (that color combination will always represent Parkland to me now). On other visits I have to wear a "fit mask" which I was tested for before I began work. It keeps out something like 98% of all the stuff in the air, so I probably won't get sick from that. One of my units is one of Parkland's five ICUs, and I and a resident chaplain attempt to visit each of those patients every day. It is really wonderful to watch how people get better on the unit, and it is tragic to watch when they don't.
I have been present at the death of a young girl because she ran into a horse with a car, and helped her family begin to grieve and offer life to others through her organ donations. I have attempted to help a woman make a decision to give her mother a peaceful death and been frustrated in the process. I have visited with a woman who felt incredibly lonely despite being surrounded by signs of love as she healed from being run over by a truck. I have touched a woman who just lost a baby she didn't know she had. I have seen God this summer in the eyes of hundreds of people.
One thing that surprised me this summer is that I love being on call. I love being called, even to the most difficult situations. When I am on call with a resident I hold on to the house pager, and feel at peace as I find myself all over Parkland. The other thing that surprises me is how difficult I find cold calls. When I just make a list of people I need to visit and then wander into their rooms asking if they want a visit from the chaplain (me) I find myself exhausted. However, this is something I do four days a week. I am only on-call once a week. So I practice. And keep practicing. We'll see what happens during the next couple of weeks.
I have loved working at Parkland, though. I love the department there and most all of the people I work with. One of the staff chaplains is the mother of a girl I knew when I was in elementary school and who Mom knows well, and we laughed over the fact that she knew me when I was eight and now we're working together. I've loved having the chance to encounter other theologies and better articulate my own and I have loved the chance to grow closer to God.
Silas and I have found ways to spend most of our weekends together, despite differing schedules, and it has been wonderful to be able to see him so often. We have already made plans for next year to not have to go so long without seeing each other as we did this past semester.
I have been getting ready for the new semester as well. My book list is out, and my mom and I have made plans to get me and George back to Ohio. I'll finish CPE, and then have one week to get back and settled before classes start again. It's a quick turn-around. I'm looking forward to next semester, though. I think my classes will be great and I am really looking forward to being one of the sacristans. I'm looking forward to being back into the routine I'm used to, even though I'm finally getting used to the routine of CPE.
Tomorrow I'm on call again, followed by two more weeks of work with two more on call shifts, and one week of mostly finishing things up. I can't believe it's all going so fast. Yesterday was a day of poetry for my CPE class as well as the class at UT Southwestern, who we do classes with, and it was an absolutely fantastic day. We were taught about poetry as medicine and I wrote two poems during the day. I was surprised at what came out of me, but it was wonderful to put some of my experience into the words of poetry. Tonight I'm going to sew a bit more, and tomorrow after work I'm heading up to Oklahoma City, and then to Tulsa for my grandma's birthday. It should be a good weekend.
These are the poems I wrote:
This morning I slept in, I cuddled with my cat, I sewed, I read, and I watched tv. It was wonderful. I thought it would also be a good time to write a new blog post.
CPE has been going fast and furious, and now I only have three weeks left. CPE has been a very interesting experience. It has been more challenging than I expected in some ways and it has been easier than I expected in some ways. I have found that I truly love doing ministry. I love being called to visit with people in need and being able to share the grace of God with them in some small way. I have had meaningful visits conducted entirely in Spanish and despite the language barrier between myself and my patients, God has been fully present. I have hugged perfect strangers, prayed without words for ten minute spans, and worn so much personal protective equipment that I'm getting used to being wrapped in plastic and latex.
I am assigned to three units, one of which is an isolation unit. That means that for many of my visits I have to put on a yellow plastic gown with full sleeves and light blue gloves (that color combination will always represent Parkland to me now). On other visits I have to wear a "fit mask" which I was tested for before I began work. It keeps out something like 98% of all the stuff in the air, so I probably won't get sick from that. One of my units is one of Parkland's five ICUs, and I and a resident chaplain attempt to visit each of those patients every day. It is really wonderful to watch how people get better on the unit, and it is tragic to watch when they don't.
I have been present at the death of a young girl because she ran into a horse with a car, and helped her family begin to grieve and offer life to others through her organ donations. I have attempted to help a woman make a decision to give her mother a peaceful death and been frustrated in the process. I have visited with a woman who felt incredibly lonely despite being surrounded by signs of love as she healed from being run over by a truck. I have touched a woman who just lost a baby she didn't know she had. I have seen God this summer in the eyes of hundreds of people.
One thing that surprised me this summer is that I love being on call. I love being called, even to the most difficult situations. When I am on call with a resident I hold on to the house pager, and feel at peace as I find myself all over Parkland. The other thing that surprises me is how difficult I find cold calls. When I just make a list of people I need to visit and then wander into their rooms asking if they want a visit from the chaplain (me) I find myself exhausted. However, this is something I do four days a week. I am only on-call once a week. So I practice. And keep practicing. We'll see what happens during the next couple of weeks.
I have loved working at Parkland, though. I love the department there and most all of the people I work with. One of the staff chaplains is the mother of a girl I knew when I was in elementary school and who Mom knows well, and we laughed over the fact that she knew me when I was eight and now we're working together. I've loved having the chance to encounter other theologies and better articulate my own and I have loved the chance to grow closer to God.
Silas and I have found ways to spend most of our weekends together, despite differing schedules, and it has been wonderful to be able to see him so often. We have already made plans for next year to not have to go so long without seeing each other as we did this past semester.
I have been getting ready for the new semester as well. My book list is out, and my mom and I have made plans to get me and George back to Ohio. I'll finish CPE, and then have one week to get back and settled before classes start again. It's a quick turn-around. I'm looking forward to next semester, though. I think my classes will be great and I am really looking forward to being one of the sacristans. I'm looking forward to being back into the routine I'm used to, even though I'm finally getting used to the routine of CPE.
Tomorrow I'm on call again, followed by two more weeks of work with two more on call shifts, and one week of mostly finishing things up. I can't believe it's all going so fast. Yesterday was a day of poetry for my CPE class as well as the class at UT Southwestern, who we do classes with, and it was an absolutely fantastic day. We were taught about poetry as medicine and I wrote two poems during the day. I was surprised at what came out of me, but it was wonderful to put some of my experience into the words of poetry. Tonight I'm going to sew a bit more, and tomorrow after work I'm heading up to Oklahoma City, and then to Tulsa for my grandma's birthday. It should be a good weekend.
These are the poems I wrote:
Cold Calls
Nobody likes feet, right?
Here we cover them with yellow socks.
Here I must wear closed-toed shoes
(there is a code, after all).
Here it might be unsafe for bare feet
to touch the ground.
I hate shoes.
I hate my closed-toed shoes
And your yellow socks, a sign of sickness.
I want to feel connected.
I want my bare feet and yours
to be on the earth.
I want to tread carefully in your room,
Feel firmly placed where I am.
But I don’t know how in these shoes,
looking at your yellow socks.
Can you help me?
Can I listen here,
firmly planted on the ground,
next to you?
Can I step out of my closed-toed shoes,
tread near with my bare feet,
and slip into your yellow socks?
To God
Hello again, it’s me, here I am,
I am busy, tired, happy … hungry,
I am going on a visit.
You know,
I don’t always believe you.
But it’s not just you.
I don’t always believe anyone who says
“I love you”
Instead I ask:
“What did I do to deserve this?”
But
I love fully and firmly.
And I know that won’t change.
Will you?
I am surrounded by goodness;
by signs and words of love.
Sometimes I feel alone when I’m surrounded.
Am I hiding successfully?
Or am I just hiding from myself?
Maybe I will believe you today.
Maybe I will believe everybody.
Maybe she will to.
Amen
Monday, June 9, 2014
Beginning of the Summer
I have had a busy beginning of the summer, with a couple of bumps in the road and a few nice surprises.
My mom came up to Columbus after I finished my classes, and we had a good time while I helped sacristan for the commencement worship. It was great to go to commencement, since I had several friends who were graduating, and altogether Saturday was a lovely day. Then my mom and I packed up and got ready for a long drive on Sunday.
Sunday morning we were packing up and taking things to my car, and George noticed and wanted to make sure he would not be left behind. He ran out the door and down a flight of stairs. He may have regretted that wish later, but he was actually a wonderful traveler. He sat quietly in his crate all day, and enjoyed exploring the pet friendly hotel room we stayed in for the night. The next morning he was a little less excited about getting into his crate, knowing what would come next, but he never uttered a peep, and the drive home was easy enough. It was nice to be able to share the driving with my Mom, and we had a great time.
Once I was home, I went and got poked and prodded to ensure my health to work at Parkland. I did my first drug screening and got fitted for a face mask, in case I need one, which was rather entertaining. Good news, I don't have TB. I also don't have a Hepatitis B immunity, despite having the vaccine, so I get to get it again! Yay! Unfortunately, I got all of this testing done too late to start on my official first day of CPE, so instead I got an extra week off. This was a bit annoying, but I chose to take the opportunity to go to Tulsa with my mom and see my Grandma and help go through the house we're getting ready to sell.
We decided to take George with us to Tulsa, and he was once again a good traveler. It was nice to have him around so we could take George Breaks from clearing out the house and petting a cat is the best kind of break. Going through the house was hard work, but it was interesting. I went through all of my Grandpa's theological books, and took basically all of them. It makes me happy that a large chunk of my early theological library comes from him, and my Grandma said he would be so pleased I had them. I also took boatloads of thread from my Grandma's sewing stash, and I won't have to buy colored thread for years. I love that I'll have some of her things, including beautiful fabric bought in China, to work with and create out of. I like that she and I have that in common. Altogether, it was a busy, but worthwhile week, and a good way to spend my accidental week off.
We came home on Thursday, so that I could jump on a plane to Orlando the next morning. I went to Orlando to attend Silas' sister's wedding. It was the first time I saw Silas since early this Feburary, so I was thoroughly excited about the trip. I had a bit of a confusing time getting out of the Orlando airport, but I made it. Silas and I, as well as his family, had a good but full weekend. We had a large rehersal dinner the night I got in, full of people I didn't know. They were all nice, though, and it was an enjoyable evening. The day of the Wedding, Silas and I went out on a trip to pick up the flowers, which was some nice time together, and then the wedding was in a garden in the afternoon. It was quite hot, and I did not envy the men in suits, but the wedding was beautiful. The reception was also lovely, and there were a couple of songs Silas and I could dance to. After the whirlwind two days, we got up the next morning and Silas' parents took me to one airport and Silas to another to head to our respective homes. It was a great visit, but I'll be heading to Oklahoma City for a less rushed visit as soon as I can.
Finally today, I began my summer of CPE. Today was just general orientation, so it was actually a bit boring, but there was another student who had to start late, so we sat together and got to know each other, and we had lunch with the whole group and Leo, our supervisor. My CPE class is made up of five women, and I am the youngest one. We got along together well at lunch, and I think it'll be a good group to work with over the summer. I'm especially looking forward to tomorrow, when I'll find out more about what I'm going to be doing specifically.
Tonight I made sure to take care of myself by taking myself to a yoga class at the studio I have a membership at for the summer. It was wonderful, and I have a feeling I'll really appreciate those as I get more into the fullness of CPE. It's nice to have a studio to practice at so I actually do it, and so I have good teachers to correct my form.
After some interesting trips, my summer is finally really starting, and I think it will be wonderful and full of learning. I'll probably be more sporadic here than I am in the school year, but I'll keep writing when I can.
My mom came up to Columbus after I finished my classes, and we had a good time while I helped sacristan for the commencement worship. It was great to go to commencement, since I had several friends who were graduating, and altogether Saturday was a lovely day. Then my mom and I packed up and got ready for a long drive on Sunday.
Sunday morning we were packing up and taking things to my car, and George noticed and wanted to make sure he would not be left behind. He ran out the door and down a flight of stairs. He may have regretted that wish later, but he was actually a wonderful traveler. He sat quietly in his crate all day, and enjoyed exploring the pet friendly hotel room we stayed in for the night. The next morning he was a little less excited about getting into his crate, knowing what would come next, but he never uttered a peep, and the drive home was easy enough. It was nice to be able to share the driving with my Mom, and we had a great time.
Once I was home, I went and got poked and prodded to ensure my health to work at Parkland. I did my first drug screening and got fitted for a face mask, in case I need one, which was rather entertaining. Good news, I don't have TB. I also don't have a Hepatitis B immunity, despite having the vaccine, so I get to get it again! Yay! Unfortunately, I got all of this testing done too late to start on my official first day of CPE, so instead I got an extra week off. This was a bit annoying, but I chose to take the opportunity to go to Tulsa with my mom and see my Grandma and help go through the house we're getting ready to sell.
We decided to take George with us to Tulsa, and he was once again a good traveler. It was nice to have him around so we could take George Breaks from clearing out the house and petting a cat is the best kind of break. Going through the house was hard work, but it was interesting. I went through all of my Grandpa's theological books, and took basically all of them. It makes me happy that a large chunk of my early theological library comes from him, and my Grandma said he would be so pleased I had them. I also took boatloads of thread from my Grandma's sewing stash, and I won't have to buy colored thread for years. I love that I'll have some of her things, including beautiful fabric bought in China, to work with and create out of. I like that she and I have that in common. Altogether, it was a busy, but worthwhile week, and a good way to spend my accidental week off.
We came home on Thursday, so that I could jump on a plane to Orlando the next morning. I went to Orlando to attend Silas' sister's wedding. It was the first time I saw Silas since early this Feburary, so I was thoroughly excited about the trip. I had a bit of a confusing time getting out of the Orlando airport, but I made it. Silas and I, as well as his family, had a good but full weekend. We had a large rehersal dinner the night I got in, full of people I didn't know. They were all nice, though, and it was an enjoyable evening. The day of the Wedding, Silas and I went out on a trip to pick up the flowers, which was some nice time together, and then the wedding was in a garden in the afternoon. It was quite hot, and I did not envy the men in suits, but the wedding was beautiful. The reception was also lovely, and there were a couple of songs Silas and I could dance to. After the whirlwind two days, we got up the next morning and Silas' parents took me to one airport and Silas to another to head to our respective homes. It was a great visit, but I'll be heading to Oklahoma City for a less rushed visit as soon as I can.
Finally today, I began my summer of CPE. Today was just general orientation, so it was actually a bit boring, but there was another student who had to start late, so we sat together and got to know each other, and we had lunch with the whole group and Leo, our supervisor. My CPE class is made up of five women, and I am the youngest one. We got along together well at lunch, and I think it'll be a good group to work with over the summer. I'm especially looking forward to tomorrow, when I'll find out more about what I'm going to be doing specifically.
Tonight I made sure to take care of myself by taking myself to a yoga class at the studio I have a membership at for the summer. It was wonderful, and I have a feeling I'll really appreciate those as I get more into the fullness of CPE. It's nice to have a studio to practice at so I actually do it, and so I have good teachers to correct my form.
After some interesting trips, my summer is finally really starting, and I think it will be wonderful and full of learning. I'll probably be more sporadic here than I am in the school year, but I'll keep writing when I can.
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